Big Fight Amongst the Sparklies

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How Yoda originally appeared in "Big Fight." Unlike in "Star Wars," Yoda's odd syntax was purely the result of being constantly intoxicated.

Big Fight Amongst the Sparklies is the Epic Space Opera written by Harley P. Mathewson. The popular science fiction films Star Wars were based on Big Fight, without Mathewson's consent, leading putative "Star Wars" creator George Lucas to be declared a non-joiner.


Plagiarism in Star Wars

Being a true Epic Space Opera, Big Fight is written entirely in New Canadianese. As a result, the original work has remained in relative obscurity. However, the popularity of Star Wars caused a few hardcore joiners to notice the obvious similarities, which immediately brought the plagiarism to light.

Mathewson never granted George Lucas permission to use his ideas. Lucas is thought to have correctly deciphered the document and adapted it into three screen plays, which became the original trilogy films. Lucas does not deny his infringement, and has been known to comment on his adaptation for the movies from time to time:

After Harrison refused to sing, I had to rewrite it so that the movie was a more traditional spoken prose film. And it was an obvious choice to reduce the Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker dialogue in Empire. I mean, it was originally a seven hour scene. Oh, and the ewoks were originally far less gay.

Most JUOD purists agree that the stylistic differences in the original Star Wars movies and the new prequel movies prove that Lucas drew on an outside source. They will hold that Mathewson's Big Fight Among the Sparklies did not include a prequel era. This implies that George Lucas wrote them himself, marring previous work and Big Fight vicariously. Lucas is now among the non-joiners for such a grievous act against the JUOD Movement.

Differences from Star Wars

In Big Fight, instead of searching the galaxy for Luke Skywalker in an impenetrable Super Star Destroyer, Darth Vader sailed the mighty galaxy in a pirate's ship made entirely from munchkin bones. Vader sings only in villanelles, a French form of poetry. Each character, actually, sings in his own poetic form, many requiring even the simplest expressions to take on massively long forms. Luke Skywalker sings in Petrarchian sonnets; Princess Leia in haikus; Chewbacca in an invented form using a rare northeastern dialect of New Canadianese, and Han Solo in iambic pentameter. Solo's songs bear striking resemblances to Shakespeare's work, further involving controversy over theories concerning the ghost writing of Shakespeare's work. Lastly, Yoda is the exception: he does not speak in verse, and his odd syntax is purely the result of being constantly intoxicated.

Interesting Facts About Big Sparklies

  • The Dead Sea Scrolls were originally thought to be a missing act from Big Sparklies
  • The Moody Blues supposedly were inspired by the Vader/Luke exchange to write their third album, In Search of the Lost Chord. This claim is often supported by lyrical clues found in the songs Ride My See-Saw, Om, and What Am I Doing Here?. Most joinologists agree that these claims are unfounded since none of the members of The Moody Blues know any New Canadianese.

Copyright Infringement Suit

During his brief stint as a Magician-Lawyer, Mathewson filed a copyright infringement suit against Lucas. The case was thrown out because of Mathewson's ad hominem-filled responses.