Harley-Davidson Incident
From JUOD
The Harley-Davidson Incident occurred sometime in the 1930s when entrepreneur Arthur Davidson approached Harley P. Mathewson about using his name for a motorcycle company. It is a rare example of Mathewson's pity.
The Incident
Shortly after returning the US in , a man named Arthur Davidson approached Mathewson about using his name in that of Davidson's recently-founded motorcycle company, as "The Harley P. Mathewson-Davidson Motorcycle Company." Apparently he had been impressed by the rumors surrounding Mathewson and wanted to ascribe Mathewson's bad-ass persona to his product. Mathewson scoffed and promptly punched Davidson in the face and groin, saying his full name should only be used for two purposes, "Invoking it to damn a feeble mind to eternal suffering," or "as per my contractual agreement in endorsing the Community Blood Bank." Then, in a rare display of pity, Mathewson decided to allow Davidson to use his first name (as "Harley-Davidson") on certain terms. The conditions surrounding this deal have been obfuscated by time, but purportedly Davidson was to supply to Mathewson a fleet of 12 custom-designed motorcycles, each having no less than six engines and measuring at least 4 yards in length, with a third wheel in the center to support their massive frames. The official make was "The Behemoth," but this line was better known by its nickname "The Lavotian Spawn," or simply "LS."
Only four of these monstrous creations still exist today, with the six of the other eight having been purposefully destroyed by Mathewson in spectacular collisions whenever he became bored or didn't feel like refueling. The whereabouts of the missing two are unknown, though some have speculated that one eventually shows up at Mathewson's future attempt at a joining utopia, AWESOMELANDIA. Scholars who have examined the remaining four LS agree that these are among the greatest advancements in transportation, being far beyond most other vehicles of the era.
Despite that fact, Mathewson was quite disappointed in the LS, and abandoned his fleet in favor of a small aluminum scooter, which could collapse and fit in a backpack. Witness accounts of him using this scooter exist until 1939, around the start of WWII.
Resulting Litigation
During his brief stint as a Magician-Lawyer, Mathewson sued Arthur Davidson in contract for "lost awesomeness resulting from immense faggotry." The trial was noted for its absurdity at a scale not seen until Mathewson's interference in the O.J. Simpson trial. Mathewson used many magical tricks to cause consternation and delay proceedings.
