Mathewson's Blunt Surface

From JUOD

Mathewson's Blunt Surface is a treatise written by Harley P. Mathewson in response to Occam's Razor. It directly contradicts the Razor, explaining in detail that the best solution to any problem is not necessarily the simplest, but is always that which is the awesomest. The manuscript also spends many pages deriding William of Ockham, including a 3-page list of pejorative nicknames that imply homosexuality.

Mathewson's Metaphysics

The work contains a long, winding series of logical and metaphysical propositions, whereby Mathewson attempted to set forth the philosophical underpinnings of the JUOD Movement. In the beginning of the work, Mathewson states there are three types of substances: 1) That which is joined ("The Joined"); 2) That Which Is Not Joined ("The Death") and 3) That Which is Awesome ("The Awesome"). The first is essentially all that we call "good" in the universe, the second all that what we can "bad," and the third the sort of transitive property that moves things from being "Joined" to "Death." He continues on to attempt to extol the mathematical foundation for awesomeness, but the treatise digresses into a long litany of supposed homosexual acts that William of Ockham committed.

Mathewson's Epistemology

Furthermore, Mathewson proposes his own version of epistemology. Knowledge, Mathewson says, can be broken down to the innate (usual the "Joined"), and that learned from experience (either "Joined" or "Death," depending on "Awesomeness"). Innate knowledge, Mathewson says, includes "joining." This is perhaps a radical proposition, since it thus logically appeals that Mathewson argues that joining stems not from experience, but from some innate part of all human beings. One scholar of Mathewson's work proposed this question to Mathewson. He was never heard from again. This contention, if true, would seem to belie the entire need for The Proposition.

Mathewson's Political Philosophy

This section is mostly just plaigerized paragraphs from Machiavelli's "The Prince," and long sections of Jean-Jacques Rousseau's "The Social Contract." At the end, Mathewson tacked on a few sentences of his own: "Obviously the pleb[ian]s are far too stupid to rule themselves. Thus they need everlasting, iron-fisted rule from an enlightened ruler. And I most certainly don't mean Philosopher-King, or whatever other gay shit that Plato came up with. Okay, I guess Plato wasn't all that bad. But you know what I mean. The Greeks and all their man-boy love. Yuck." The work then continues on about Greek homosexuality for dozens of pages. It is most likely this work upon which Mathewson has drawn for his 2008 and 2012 presidential campaigns.